Posted in Adventure, Comfort, Courage, Experiences, Feelings, He Said, Intimacy, Life, Love, Poem, Quotes, She Said, Strength, Truth, Walls

Stills and Learning

Persona of notices of moments that were long gone
Persona of everything doesn’t go according to my will
Persona of a delusional future and a dysfunctional present

You’ll eventually learn that promises are notices of moments that you long to have and sometimes they’re notices of the deadlines of what could happen. You’ll eventually learn that words are just words unless you put meaning and life unto it. Until you place it in your heart and hold on to it for the rest of your life. You’ll eventually learn that expectations are part of human life and eventually they’ll rip your hearts into pieces that could morphed into the feeling of betrayal but eventually you’ll learn to laugh at yourself for believing that you’re always the first option, when in fact options are not constant in this world. Eventually you’ll learn your place in his life as mere spectator or a passing friend and you’d cope up with the loss and the pain and everything messy in between. You’ll eventually learn to distance yourself as time keeps on speeding by because velocity is something you cannot obtain easily. You’ll eventually stop writing stories in your head, stories of confessions and break-ups because you eventually learn that weaving stories in your brain is making you delusional of the future and dysfunctional of the present. Eventually you’ll learn that everything does not go according to your will and the world even if they conspire for you will eventually stab you sometimes, but you’ll eventually learn that it’s how they inculcate lessons and miracles. Eventually you’ll learn that what you learned is not enough and you have the world as your library to explore. And even if you have to do it on your own sometimes, eventually you’ll learn that being able to lean on yourself for comfort is not selfish but it’s how you learn to be sane for some time. Eventually you’ll get tired and wished that even if you’re some smart, classy, strong and independent woman there will come a time when you just want to curl on the sofa and wished that he will stroke your hair for comfort, that you will not be alone. Eventually I’m good at making up romantic scenarios but eventually I learned it will keep on letting me hope and hope comes with hurt all the time.

But…

Even if I learned those things, I will still continue on learning about you and I will never stop loving you from a distance.

 

Valete!

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Author:

A dose of failures, a couple of heartaches, a dozen of everlasting memories, a hundred of survival diaries, a thousand of beautiful moments worth capturing all in one undying international art — writing. This feature every bits and pieces of my life (not that vain though). Whether it’s to wear a dress or wear jammies, to write a sentence or to write a poem, to challenge negative beliefs or to debate my beliefs, to momentarily travel or to stay at home, to crave spicy foods or to just eat plain vanilla ice cream. Whatever spectrum I am in, I think I have found my place in this wonderful world. Valete!

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